Monday, August 6, 2012

dissecting my recent 'busy trap' neurosis

You guys, it's bad. Remember Tim Kreider's NY Times article last month, The 'Busy' Trap, that sparked all sorts of introspective blog posts from people all over the world? Well, I think it's finally time I added mine to the bunch.

I haven't had fun this summer.  Well, that's actually way too broad of an overstatement. I have had fun, but not like I should.  I have limited myself due to this perceived notion of success I feel as though I have to achieve.  I have to be the dependable girl.  I have to the be the girl with the well-rounded resume.  And I have to be the girl that forgets about her friends because she's too busy be someone else's errand girl, or social media strategist, go-to blogger, graphic designer, etc etc etc.  This summer, I didn't go anywhere.  This summer, I didn't get to see my family.  And for what?  To make the LinkedIn profile I hate updating seem just a little more impressive?

I've fallen into the busy trap- the trap that makes me check my email like a neurotic fool and neglect the world around me.  The trap that makes me forget why I do all of this in the first place. I'm tired scheduling every moment of my life.  I think it would be crazy to assume that at 20 years old I have lost the ability to be spontaneous, but I feel as though it's happened already.  I'm having to decide between seeing a friend, getting a haircut, or seeking vendors for an event.  It shouldn't be this way, should it?

A huge pet peeve of mine is people who complain about how busy they are (because you choose what to take on yourself), but I'm not complaining- I'm reflecting.  Okay, maybe I'm complaining a little, but it's all so I can come to this.....How do you do it?  How do you, other young professionals in the making (or just professionals in general) manage your time? Or are you caught in the same boat?  Is it wrong to say no?  Is it wrong to feel absolute guilt towards yourself for saying yes?  I'm caught between doing what I love and forgetting why I loved it in the first place.  I just need to figure it out because I am too young to be THIS drained.

In case you're wondering, this is me depicting my white girl probs as best as I can. 

Okay, now enough of that.  Go enjoy your Monday...only 4 more days until the weekend, right?! There's always something to look forward too.

1 comment:

  1. "If you are too busy to pray, you are too busy" :D